FEAR OF THE GOOD KIND
Fear can be crippling. Meaning it can quite literally stop us from going after what we want by making us think that we are inadequate or by making us fear rejection so much that we uniformly hold ourselves back from trying every time.
Fear will wake us at 2 am and demand we give it all of our attention and tell us that it is imperative that we be with it, right then. The audacity! Sometimes fear will even make our heartbeat so fast that we doubt we’ll ever be well outside of those few fearful minutes whether the fear was triggered by the thought of having left our phone in a public bathroom, by the thought of our overwhelming to-do list, or simply by making the motions to tell someone we love them.
For some people, fear is just continuous bouts of unpleasant and shaky moments. For other people, fear can lasts many, many years and sometimes that old and long-lasting fear ends up forming into things inside of our bodies that hurt. Believe it or not, some folk never experience a life without fear. For a certain group, too, the feeling of fear sometimes becomes so unbearable that they voluntarily decide to leave this life. So in a sense, I guess the feeling of fear can sometimes kill (though never fear itself).
But can you consider, or indulge me in believing that fear has a very nurturing side and comes with many benefits? Fear is not here to scare us. Fear is here to make sure that we can access our awareness, to let us know that there is something important that we might be overlooking. To tell us that a project we are about to start might actually be a really good one. To encourage us to keep digging, or to help us stop a bad habit.
Fear is full of rich information that is unique to each of us and our lives and if we trust it, it can help us reach levels we probably wouldn’t reach by running from our fears. Being and sitting with our fear when it comes up whether it be in the car or at our work desk, will always make fear itself disappear. Breathing through the fear that feels so real in our bodies but are not at all true outside of us, can melt the actual emotion away while leaving traces of calmness and clarity behind. But fear is shy. It hides behind anger, revenge, and self-doubt so we have to become friends and even invite our fear and old demon friends over for tea so that we can get to know them and spot them as soon as they come up. Being friends with fear helps eliminates “acting out.” Oh the perks!
I know suggesting we shine light on our fears is seemingly wicked and gnarly, but it is October after all so lets get freaky.
Don’t trick yourself, treat yourself!
Founder of Loyal Nana
P.S. Before my fear of never getting to know some of our NYC based Loyal Nana readers completely takes over me, I should tell you that I am hosting Loyal Nana's first storytelling night, SPOOKY IN THE CITY in New York City this month. Date & location TBD, but in the meantime, consider submitting your work and tell a friend!